Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Where Are They Now: Thigru Thorkisen, Magician

When last seen, Thigru Thorkisen, a Magician (6th Level MU) and henchman to Lord Olaf Blue Cheeks (10th Level F) had been approached by Halfdan the Necromancer (10th Level MU), a professional colleague of Olaf's, who desired access to Thigru's Suggestion spell [See DMG page 39 "Spells Beyond Those at Start"].  The author of the tome--a one E. Gary Gygax--advises that Thigru, as an NPC, should "ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to co-operate freely with player characters, even their own master or mistress."  Certainly the property of an NPC should be respected; but EGG goes on to advise thusly:
"If Halfdan has been at least civil to the magician, Thigru will ask for nothing more than a third-level spell in return, plus another spell, plus some minor magic item such as a set of 3 potions, a scroll of 3 spells or a ring of invisibility."  

From a more experienced magic user?  For a suggestion spell?  On what planet would this not be considered highway robbery?  And, assuming Thigru and Halfdan are to maintain further relations as members of the same adventuring party, isn't this a self-defeating policy?  Presumably Thigru will one day want access to Halfdan's more advanced spellbook, no?

Anyway, during my recent absence from the blogosphere I came across the full story of the event, which has come to be known as the Thorkisen-Halfdan Summit.  If you're interested in the fallout of Thigru's extortionary demands, please read on:

Naively taking the advice of the immortal sage Gygax, Thigru chose to eschew common sense, demanding two third-level spells, a scroll of Dispel Magic, a potion of polymorphing, and Halfdan's ring of protection +2 in exchange for his Suggestion spell.  Halfdan was, of course, insulted at the outrageous terms offered him--by a lesser spellcaster no less.  So offended was he that he cast magic jar on Thigru and, whilst occupying the magician's corporeal form, ravished Olaf Blue Cheek's teenaged daughter Helgina.

Olaf, on learning of the lechery of his supposed henchman, requisitioned Thigru's head for pike-decorating duty.  Thigru's family was expelled from the castle with nothing but the clothes on their backs and banished forever from the realm.  All of the erstwhile magician's possessions were reclaimed by his Lordship--except his spell books, which Olaf offered as a gift to his trusted adventuring companion Halfdan.  Halfdan, in an act of unadulterated spite, tore out the pages for the Suggestion spell and, without ever reading them, set them afire at the base of Thigru's pike.


Erin Smale said...

If only Thigru had punctuated his demands with a suggestion ...

Timrod said...

Alas, poor Thigru was not a very shrewd fellow.

bombasticus said...

Greetings from the future! Been binging backward and this was where I laughed out loud. Thanks for all of this. Brilliant heterodox greyhology.

Timrod said...

Greyhology's got a nice ring to it. Can I steal it?