|Stirges: They really suck.|
10. Grand Master of Flowers--Reason enough to retire your monk before he gets to 17th level.
9. Pole arms--I took 3 years of high school French in a futile effort to figure out why someone would ever bother to use a guisarme-voulge, bec de corbin, fauchard, or ranseur. Also, how long did it take everyone to realize that it wasn't kosher for your cleric to use a Lucerne Hammer?
8. Ring Mail--Five pounds heavier and twice the price of studded leather yet you got the same protection. At least padded armor and splint mail were slightly cheaper than their significantly less-cumbersome AC-mates.
7. Wisdom--"A composite term for the character's enlightenment, judgement, wile, willpower, and intuitiveness." Which is a very long winded way of saying "Dump stat."
6. Chance to Know each listed Spell--"I rolled an 87, crap! My 18 Int MU just isn't smart enough to figure out how to cast Mending."
5. One minute melee round--Player: I swing at the orc... got a 7. DM: You miss. He swings back and hits for... 2 points of damage. Well, we've still got 51 seconds to kill; wanna' order a pizza?
4. Illusionists can't cast evocations--No, I don't really care about this one. Curiously, it is true.
3. Ten coins to the pound--Are they made of unrefined ore?
2. The Character with Two Classes--Human's with ambitions to branch out beyond a single class were denied the normal multi-classing option. Rather, they had dual classing--multi-classing's scoliosis-riddled, imbecilic step-sibling. If your 9th level thief cum 1st level MU finds any traps in this dungeon he can forget collecting any experience.
1. Alignment Languages--Several people in the comments section of Rients's column mentioned this one as the pinnacle of sucktacticness/nadir of coolness and I have to agree. Where did this idea even come from?