Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Weaponised Livestock


Due to overwhelming demand (thanks for the set up Lum), I'm releasing the Weaponized Livestock Table mentioned in my Starting Equipment post last week.

  1. Fighting Cock: d4 hp, 2 attacks for 1-3 ea. On a 20 leaps up to your face and tears out an eye, your nose, or your tongue.
  2. Guard Dog:  Woof.
  3. Venomous Sheep: 2HD, AC5, 1 attack for d6 dmg but save vs. poison or die of botulism in 2d6 seconds.
  4. Warcrow: As fighting cock except speaks up to 3 languages and it can wield a crossbow or pole arm.  Also flies a lot better than any homicidal poultry ever could.
  5. Carnivorous Goat: As venomous sheep except these vicious mo' fo's are hella fast (15") and get 4 attacks per round for 1d6 ea.  On a 20 it shreds your armor; AC value is reduced by 3 permanently.  Also, it is not venomous. 
  6. Battle Ox: 8 HD, AC 5, 1 attack for 2d8 dmg.  On a 20 the ox has impaled you on his horns and is thrashing his head around trying to dislodge you.  Drop everything and continue to take 2d8 damage every round thereafter until you save versus watching-your-innards-spill-out-on-the-ground.

5 comments:

Patrick Halter said...

And here I was hoping you'd have something like a cowtapult.

Timrod said...

Cowtapults--along with bullistas, 2-hounded swords, and their ilk-- can be found on the "Livestockized Weapons" list.

Lum said...

If you roll a 1 on the livestockized weapons chart you get a cat-o-(d10-1) tails.

Lum said...

What I love about this chart is the degree to which it throws the make-up-some-cool-stuff-ball back in the players court. You're first level fighter is gonna have to be pretty awesome to have a warcrow hanging out with him.

Timrod said...

I'd thought of Cat-o'-nine tails, but your rendition has much more flair. Nicely done.

Seriously, I'm thinking a warcrow might easily take over a party of noobs. Without even realizing it, they'd be spending all their time gathering fiberoptic cable and shag carpeting to pimp out the crow's nest.