Topics in Comparative Hobbitology: Hairy feet and fearfulness

So, in light of the recent events at Hobbitfest '14, I decided to obsess over the little dudes some more by digging into their RPG pedigree--as opposed to their literary pedigree which is limited to the works of and about Tolkien.  As such, I dug out all my old rule books and dusted off a big stack of PDFs to see how the various renditions of D&D have treated the little buggers over the years.

First off, I should point out that there are some glaring lapses in my collection; notably, in the D&D line there's a jump from 1981 (Moldvay) to 2001 (Hackmaster--the "Never Say Never Again" of Big D), and only one of the numbered editions are included: the recent Basic Rules associated with v. 5.  I'm not a complete Luddite (yes I am), I do have several knockoffs--Tunnels & Trolls, DragonQuest, SwordBearer--and retroclones--Castles & Crusades, OSRIC, Swords & Wizardry: White Box and Complete, DCC (perhaps more of a knockoff than a retroclone)--on hand.  Labia Lords was omitted from the study because, with such a silly name, I just can't take it seriously. Also missing: Mentzer; because... well, it's better left unsaid.

There are, of course, some basic similarities throughout the majority of the versions.  For instance, we all know that haffies are about 3' tall, they tend to be dexterous, stealthy, and crack shots with various missilery.  It's also generally agreed that they tend to be hardily resistant to magic and perhaps also poison--usually manifested in a saving throw bonus--and most of the rules include factors such as these in their descriptions of the pesky little critters.

"Hey little dude: What's up with your feet?"

It may come as a surprise, however, that hairy-footedness is generally not mentioned in the early versions of the game.  In fact, prior to 2001's Hackmaster no version of which I am familiar actually mentions their feet at all.  Indeed, there are no illustrations of hairy-footed haffies in the vast majority of D&D rulebooks from the 70s and early 80s. The Monster Manual being the lone exception. And yet, my first ever character back when I was playing Holmes Basic was a shoeless halfling who was forever terrified of inadvertently dipping his naked toes into a pool of green slime, even though there is not a single whiff of text in the book--or a supporting illustration--to suggest that either shoelessness or hairy-footedness are characteristics of the species.  It's conceivable that, without the baggage of Tolkien's hobbits, one might have played halflings for quite some time without ever knowing that there was anything untoward about their feet.  That everyone understood that the hairy-footed dude fighting the owlbear in Roslof's drawing from K. on the B'lands was a haffie does a great job of highlighting the pervasiveness of Mr. T's work on our collective image of the game and, indeed, the genre.  

Also, over time haffie hardiness seems to have migrated quite a bit.  At first they were resistant to magic, then poison jumped on the bandwagon, in the form of heightened saving throws.  Some of this disappeared in some editions and versions, but then, inexplicably it resurfaced in Castles & Crusades and Fiver Basic as fearlessness.  This is in shocking contrast to, say, Moldvays haffers who were described as somewhat cowardly.  While I am deeply and unabashedly ignorant of post-Gygaxian mainline D&D rules, I have read enough to understand--perhaps errantly--that at some point halflings lost there spot as a default player race to the Kender of Dragonlance; the race that single-handedly ruined everything they touched back in the mid-80s.**  Anyway, my point is that I have a sinking suspicion that the fearlessness thing is a kender trait rather than a hobbit trait, which makes me more than a little queasy. On a possibly related note, nothing in particular is said of halfling feet in Fiver.

* The only illustration of a hairy footed haffer in the core AD&D rulebooks that is clearly linked to halflings is the one in the one accompanying the Halfing description in the AD&D Monster Manual. Though there is also a short hairy footed dude in that party of characters in the marginal illustrations in the back of the AD&D DMG
** Delta Dan has statistically proven that the reason Walter Mondale failed so utterly in his 1984 presidential campaign--winning only 2 states, if I recall correctly--is that the Reagan camp leaked rumors that Mondale was "pro-Kender."  More recently, Mitt Romney saw his presidential hopes go up in flames when a photo of him relaxing on the beach beside a now-middle-aged and paunchy Tasslehoff Burrfoot hit the internet. Also: those faulty O-rings that caused the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster?  Manufactured by Kender. 

Celebrate the Feast of St. Cuthbert

As all you hagiophiles already know March 20th marks the feast day of St. Cuthbert who died on this day in 687.  Greyhawkophiles will know St. Cuddy as one of the original deities of EGG's home campaign.  But here are a few things you might not have known about the patron saint of quality head-wear:

Banner of St. C: Where's the cudgel?

• Good ol' Cuddy was probably ~53 years old when he died of an unspecified illness in his hermitage in Northumbria.
• He began his monastic career only after serving in a war against the King of Mercia.  
• After the war, Cuthbert arrived at the monastery of Melrose bearing a spear, not a cudgel.
• In 664 he was named prior of the monastery at Lindisfarne which would later bear his name.  
• Though he ultimately returned to Lindisfarne as Bishop, he spent much of the last decade or so of his life living as a hermit--not unlike a certain mad man in the environs of the Keep on the Borderlands.
• His monastery would gain fame in 793 for being the first known location in the British Isles to be raided by Vikings.  Whether this event inspired the sacking of the monastery in the Sample Dungeon of the AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide cannot be known for certain.
• St. Cuthbert's Gospel, based on the Codex of Grandior, is the oldest extant example of a "western binding."  Awesome, right? 
• There are two caves in northeast England that bear his name.  Possibly they are named such because his sanctified remains were hidden in one or both of them to keep them safe from the Danes who continued to ravage the area for centuries.
• Cuthbert's aforementioned gospel was also stashed in his coffin for safekeeping.  On a somewhat creepier note, so was the head of poor St. Oswald.
• Once, after praying in the ocean, otters breathed on St. Cuthbert's cold feet to warm them up.
• Two more Cuthberts were later canonized but, as is often the case, the sequels were not as cool as the original.
• The Cuddy Duck is a species of waterfowl found in the vicinity of Lindisfarne. 
• The "Liberty of St. Cuthbert's Lands" was a political entity in Northumberland that operated as a sovereign entity--a Palatinate--run by the Bishops of the vicinity.  According to Wikipedia, the people here were known as the haliwerfolc, meaning, rather literally, "holy man people", and it was believed that St. Cuthbert was "fiercely protective of his domain."  Inspiration for the See of Veluna?
• An eagle once brought him some fish n' chips, which he shared with the eagle.
• The Venerable Bede, a saint himself, wrote two hagiographies of Cuthbert.
• Bede failed to mention Cuddy's affinity for hats in either tome.
• St. Cuthbert's horse once interrupted his prayers to point out a delicious packet of bread and cheese stashed in a nearby roof.  Animals, apparently, couldn't help but give ol' Cuddy a hand.
• It might just be a coincidence that the hermit in B2 K. on the B'lands had a protective pet puma.
• Welsh Anglicans prefer to celebrate his feast day on Sept 4 while Episcopalians in The States pay their respects to ol' Cuddy on August 31.   Y'dey, Canoness of Hommlet, took it a step further instituting a 5 day celebration that spanned both dates.  

B2-T1 Keep of Hommlet: a self-diagnosed T1 obsessor goes off his meds again

Keep THIS!

As mentioned in yesterday's teaser, today we're exploring B2 Keep on the Borderlands and its potential as a link in the Hommlet series.  No, B2 is not based on T1 or the Sample Dungeon or any of that nonsense.  Don't be ridiculous.  But there are some similarities nonetheless.

For some background, a few months ago I posted a deal about some of the more remarkable similarities between T1 Village of Hommlet and the Sample Dungeon in the Dungeon Masters Guide wherein I made the claim that the Sample Dungeon was probably the original dungeon upon which T1 was based.  And though I'd accept that they both were separately crafted from the roots of the same prototype, my money still says that the Sample Dungeon is closer to the original Hommlet campaign than is the published version of T1.

This all started when I was looking around for a sequel to T1 for my current AD&D campaign.  I started eyeballing the Sample Dungeon as a potential source for a T2 Temple of Elemental Evil of my own semi-design.  I liked it initially only for the dungeon's inherent Gygaxian flavor, but as I started reading into it more closely, well, you know the story.

Something similar happened the other night when I started checking out B2 as a potential sequel--T3 if you will--to my semi-homebrewed T2.  Inspired by the stand of tamaracks--a tree unique for being both coniferous and deciduous, and, thus, particularly well suited to cold climates--on the wilderness map of B2.  Obsessive weirdos like me will recall that tamaracks are also present in the vicinities of the moathouse and the Sample Dungeon--indeed, I have it on good authority that the "T "in T1 initially stood for Tamarack. So I thought here's evidence that they're all set in a similar climate, that's a good starting point.  Plus: again with the Gygaxian flavor.

So I'm giving B2 a thorough read-through for probably the first time ever.  In contrast to The V. of H., EGG seems to be going for maximum genericness with the KEEP. NPCs are bereft of names, ability scores, and background of any meaningful sort; these are things that you, the introductory DM, are supposed to come up with on your own.

There is one exception, however: the jovial priest in apartment 7b of the KEEP.  Though he is nameless and statless like the other denizens of the Borderlands, he does have an agenda spelled out.  As you may recall, he is described as being a genial mo' fo', and, along with his two acolytes, would love to help the party on there quest for glory in the ol' Caves.  But don;t turn your back on him for too long because he'll club you senseless at the worst possible moment He's actually "chaotic and evil" and is "in the KEEP to spy and defeat those seeking to gain experience by challenging the monsters in the Caves of Chaos."

So just as in T1 we have evil agents in town who are only too interested in getting in on the party's expedition.  But in contrast to the malevolent traders in Hommlet who project an off-putting aura of d-baggery--only the most desperate of adventuring parties would ever do business with them, much less accept their company into a dungeon--the cleric in the KEEP has a better grasp of tradecraft; he actually has the sense to make himself likeable. Also of note: the dude who hires himself out as a guide in the Sample Dungeon is also up to no good; he's just hoping to steal the Fire Opal with the assistance of the party.

Over at the Caves Of Kaos, there is an imprisoned merchant awaiting his fate--just like the poor merchants in the ogre's pantry in T1--though this time he's to be the entree at a hobgoblin banquet. And just like his compatriots in the moathouse, he too offers a reward for his release, though he's a much more generous chap than the cheap bastards in Lubash's pantry who could only spare meager wad of silver pieces for their saviours. 

Also, there are a couple of fire beetles in adjacent-ish rooms in the minotaur caves, but that's a similarity to the Sample Dungeon, not T1.

And then there's Cave K: The Shrine of Evil Chaos; a cloister of evil clerics and their malevolent little underground chapel in red and black that bears some resemblance to Lareth's malicious little cult. And possibly to the cleric and hobgoblins in the Sample Dungeon as well. Plus, try to convince me that "Shrine of Evil Chaos" is not the Basic-ified version of the phrase "Temple of Elemental Evil"--they're one and the same. 

And again there's the long tunnel to a location off the map near the cleric's quarters, just as in T1--and possibly the Sample Dungeon--though this one is blocked with fallen rubble and is obviously not their personal means of egress.  Though the head cleric's quarters are described as lavishly decorated, much as Lareth's joint is in T1, there are no flaming eyeballs or fire opals or other physical evidence to link this cult to those that inhabited T1 or the Sample Dungeon.  But the place still has the feel of something ominous hiding just barely beneath the surface, awaiting its chance to break out and corrupt and oppress all of humanity.  I wonder what Gygax was reading back in the late 70s that inspired all this cultiness.

Hey Bob the Elf: You Looking for your old copy of B2?

If any of these characters sound familiar to you, then I think I have your copy of B2 Keep on the Borderlands:

Cleric the Cleric
Bob the Elf
George the Thief
James Bond the Assassin--Strangely, he has the lowest charisma on the entire roster.
Khon the Fighter/MU
Handy Smurf the ranger--Significantly, the next character in the lineup is a paladin named:
Johann--who was the smurfs' human ally in their ongoing war against Gargamel.
A pair of fighters named Fred & Barney
Higgens the Fighter/Thief--a Magnum PI reference?
Spock the F/MU who seems to have met his end; and
Jim the fighter

Besides being generously endowed in the ability department--several characters don't have a single ability score below 18--every single one of these genial dudes is described as being "Kind."  And while several of them have their "Place" listed as "Cave Chaos" others have "Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh"--including 007 and Spock--and yet others have their place listed as "Dungeon Death."  Wherever that is, I want to go there.